


would you mind my hand stitched into yours

by sickoflosiingsoulmates



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: AU, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Pining, clarisse has Feelings, kind of, kind of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 19:15:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9005068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sickoflosiingsoulmates/pseuds/sickoflosiingsoulmates
Summary: Clarisse meets Silena and struggles with her feelings.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Kind of an AU where the prophecy didn't happen? Maybe??  
> Title from Dream by Tessa Violet

Clarisse first noticed her while sparing. The Ares cabin was in charge of a lesson that day, teaching some of the younger campers basic techniques. Sherman was showing a brown haired Hephaestus kid how to block properly, and Clarisse’s eyes landed on the pegasus stables. There, a girl with dark skin and piercing eyes was tending to one of the pegasi, her mouth moving slowly as she talked to it. Clarisse had a sudden desire to talk to her.

That was, until Sherman turned to her. “Clarisse, will you demonstrate with me?” She didn’t know why he phrases it as a question, as she was in charge of the training in the first place, but she nodded, stepping into position moments before Sherman attacked her.

She saw the girl around camp often, at meals, in passing, during training. She didn’t talk to her for quite some time, however. The Ares cabin and Aphrodite cabin had been paired together for capture the flag, which Clarisse complained about. Loudly. Except for a few rare campers, the Aphrodite cabin didn’t participate in capture the flag, and being on their team almost always meant being on the losing side. Clarisse was not going to lose.

Sometime in the middle of the game, Clarisse felt a presence beside her, almost as if appearing from the shadows. She turned on the figure immediately, her spear pressed dangerously close to their neck. The figure didn’t flinch, though. No, where Clarisse expected a shriek, she got a giggle. Light, melodic, and sickeningly sweet to Clarisse’s ears.

“We’re on the same side, Clarisse,” the voice said, and Clarisse finally made out the face as the girl she had seen by the stables. How the girl knew her name, Clarisse didn’t know, but she did bring her spear back to her side, releasing the girl

Clarisse began to advance once more, and was only slightly annoyed when the girl followed her. “I’m Silena,” she said casually, as if they were walking to dinner as opposed to playing an intense game of capture the flag.

“And I didn’t ask,” Clarisse replied gruffly, but there wasn’t any real heat behind it. Truth be told, she didn’t really mind having Silena with her.

Sliena didn’t respond to Clarisse’s bitter remark, but she didn’t leave her side like Clarisse expected her to. No, she stayed next to Clarisse’s side the whole time, her eyes scanning their surroundings. Once, Silena put a hand to stop Clarisse and pointed, making Clarisse aware of a Hermes boy ten feet away. They ducked into the foliage just as the boy turned towards them. Moments later, they heard him walk away, and they stood up once again.

Clarisse’s mind was whirring, wondering what would have happened if Silena hadn’t been there. Because as observant as Clarisse was, she sure as hell didn’t notice him, and he definitely would have spotted her.

They fell into a rhythm of sorts, Clarisse just a step ahead of Silena, eyes on the terrain in front of them. Silena kept her eyes roaming the thick woods, carefully looking out for anything that could hinder their performance.

As they neared the flag, it became clear to Clarisse that it would be difficult to steal it, even with Silena. There were three campers guarding it, two Hermes girls and an Apollo boy, and they didn’t look like they were planning on moving any time soon. Clarisse swallowed, turning to Silena.

“Okay,” Clarisse whispered, her voice so quiet it barely made a sound. She looked back at the campers guarding the flag before continuing. “You head out first and distract them, but keep as close to the perimeter as possible. Once they’ve been distracted, I’ll run out and grab the flag. Got it?” Silena cocked her head, looking at Clarisse curiously.

“Who says I have to be the distraction?” she asked sweetly, a smile tugging at her lips. Gods, she’s infuriating, Clarisse thought, squinting her eyes. A small part of Clarisse yelled that maybe Silena was right, maybe Clarisse should try to be the distraction. After all, in some aspects, it would be more conspicuous. But a larger, more prideful part of Clarisse protested, saying that Clarisse didn’t quite trust this girl yet.

Clarisse steadied her gaze on Silena. “I did,” she responded carefully, and Silena’s smile widened fractionally, as if she wasn’t expecting to get her way in the first place. As if she was doing it just to tease Clarisse, to lift her spirits. Clarisse didn’t know how to feel about that.

Like a bolt of lightning, Silena dashed past Clarisse, rustling the foliage as she went. This caught the attention of one of the guards, and he turned towards the sound. “Did you guys hear that?” he asked his partners, and they both nodded carefully in response. He snuck off after the Silena, and that was when Clarisse struck.

With one less guard than they were anticipating, the two girls didn’t stand a chance against Clarisse. One of them was Clarisse’s age, and the other a year or two younger. She’d been in lessons with both of them before, sometimes teaching, sometimes not. Either way, Clarisse knew just enough about their fighting styles to fend them off and grab the flag.

Clarisse heard a whoop from somewhere nearby, and she knew it had to be from Silena. Sure enough, she popped out of the trees a moment later, the largest grin Clarisse had ever seen sitting atop her face. It was cute, Clarisse thought, and she had the sudden want to kiss Silena. Clarisse quickly shook the thought away, pinning it to the adrenaline coursing through her veins. She settled for a quick high five with Silena, and they walked away together, flag in hand, to report the good news to their team.

After capture the flag, Clarisse can’t help but continue to notice Silena. They talked a lot more, little conversations when they had training together, smiles and long glances (at least on Clarisse’s part) in passing. Clarisse almost dared to call Silena her friend, which was a new feeling.

Clarisse was quite inexperienced in the terms of friends. Being friendly in the first place was difficult for Clarisse to achieve. It was easier for Clarisse if she kept everyone at arm’s length, if she let no one close to her. She was terrified of letting people in and disappointing them, or of telling them everything about herself and being betrayed. She forced herself to close herself off from people, to be distant and cold. It was easier for everyone. Until now.

Silena, whether she knew it or not, was forcing down Clarisse’s walls. It wasn’t much, as Clarisse remained the same distant person (how could she not? She didn’t know how to be anything else), but something had changed. She brightened when she was around Silena.

That could have, however, have something to do with the fact that Clarisse wasn’t quite sure how she viewed Silena. She thought they were friends, wanted them to be friends, but a quiet part of her wanted them to be more. A quiet part that demand to be louder. Clarisse forced it down, not wanting to ruin what might become the best thing to happen to Clarisse in a long, long time.

Things went fine, great for Clarisse and Silena for a long time. They grew closer, hanging out often just for the sake of enjoying each other’s company. Clarisse couldn’t deny that she was developing feelings for Silena, but she tried her hardest. She tried to ignore how her fingers itched to run through Silena’s silky black hair, how her lips tingled to touch Silena’s, how she wanted to stitch her hand into Silena’s. She tried to ignore it, but. But, but, but.

Clarisse was aware that the annual fireworks display was nearing, but she wasn’t aware how soon it was until Silena broached the topic. “Clarisse,” Silena started one day, as they walked to lunch together. “We’re going to see the fireworks together, right?” Clarisse’s throat dried up instantly. The fireworks were generally seen as a romantic event, after all. Was Silena asking her out?

Clarisse, having lost all her words, only nodded. Silena’s face brightened, a smile weaving itself across it, and gods, if it wasn’t the nicest thing Clarisse had ever had the pleasure of seeing. “Good, because I was thinking of inviting Charlie- Beckendorf- along with us. Is that okay?”

Clarisse’s heart dropped into her feet. How naive was she? Of course Silena didn’t see Clarisse as more than a friend, of course she was crushing on some other boy Clarisse couldn’t be bothered to care about. Of course. Clarisse just nodded again, trying not to let too much of her disappointment show on her face as she did so. Silena smiled at Clarisse, but Clarisse didn’t try to find a double meaning in it, now that she knew there was none. Clarisse’s mood didn’t brighten the rest of the day.

The day of the fireworks rolled around, and Clarisse found herself dreading it. She didn’t want to see Silena with Beckendorf, didn’t want to see herself with Chris, a Hermes boy she found pleasant enough, but not pleasant enough (or woman enough) to want to date. She and Silena had decided to meet up before the fireworks at the Aphrodite cabin, so that Silena could help Clarisse get ready, because, “Clarisse, I can’t trust you to make responsible fashion decisions. I’m pretty sure you only own two different shirts.”

Clarisse didn’t put too much effort into her outfit, as she knew that she wouldn’t be wearing it for much longer. With no second thoughts, Clarisse headed to the Aphrodite cabin.

She realized how out of place she was the second she stepped into the cabin. It was the opposite of what the Ares cabin looked like, and Clarisse felt awkward and large. Thankfully, Silena was the only one in the cabin, and she wouldn’t make a comment on how un-Clarisse like the atmosphere was.

“Clarisse, hey! Okay, so I have two outfits picked out for you. I had to borrow from Elise, because we aren’t the same size, but it’s fine,” Silena said, motioning to the clothes she had laid out on her bed. One was so out of the ordinary for Clarisse that she didn’t even consider it. The other was a lot more like her style. It was a short army green jacket placed over a plain gray shirt, and jeans. Clarisse picked up the clothes, and Silena turned her back to let Clarisse change in privacy.

Clarisse quickly changed, and she cleared her throat when she was done. Silena turned back around, smiling as she saw Clarisse in the outfit. “Perfect,” she murmured, and Clarisse wasn’t sure if she was talking about the outfit or Clarisse herself. Silena’s eyebrows furrowed suddenly, and she took a step closer. “Wait, your collar.”

Sure enough, the collar of Clarisse’s jacket wasn’t popped up, and Silena seemed determined to fix it herself. Silena’s fingers brushed over Clarisse’s neck as she reached for the collar, and Clarisse had to keep herself from shivering. This was the most vulnerable Clarisse had probably ever been, but she found that, just this once, she didn’t mind.

Silena’s hands left the collar of the jacket, and she backed up once again. Her smile returned to her face, and she clapped her hands together once. “Now we’re ready. Shall we?” Silena offered Clarisse her arm, and really, with Silena smiling at her like that, how could Clarisse refuse? So, arm in arm, they left the Aphrodite cabin.

With everything that had happened in the cabin, Clarisse nearly forgot that her and Silena both had other dates. Once Silena spotted Beckendorf, she smiled and ran to him. Chris moved closer to Clarisse, but he seemed awkward, almost as if he was having the same thoughts as her. Which was, that they were being third wheeled by their friends.

It stayed like that most of the night. Silena and Beckendorf were huddled together, blocking out the rest of the world. Occasionally, they would start a group conversation, but it was obvious that they wanted to be alone. Clarisse, as much as she hated to admit it, was jealous.

Being with Chris didn’t help much. It was obvious that this was the only date they’d ever go on, which was fine with Clarisse. He tried to make an effort to talk to her, but Clarisse was distracted and irritated, which was not a great combination for trying to make small talk. Halfway through the night, he gave up.

When it was nearly time for the fireworks to start, a sort of spell fell under the camp. Couples shifted closer, snuggling up tight. Silence fell, except for quiet laughter from friends. When the first explosion went off, a cheer echoed around the camp. It was a comforting environment, but it did nothing to calm Clarisse. She was set off even further when, beside her, Silena leaned over to kiss Beckendorf quickly.

Clarisse knew that she should be happy for her friend. She knew that this was Silena’s first kiss, and that Clarisse should be proud of her, happy for her. She should have, but she wasn’t. Because Clarisse wanted to be the one Silena was kissing, who had her arm thrown lazily around Silena’s shoulders.

Clarisse didn’t stay long after the fireworks display. Silena waved goodbye to her, but Clarisse didn’t return the wave, pretending instead that she didn’t see it. Clarisse took a long time to fall asleep that night.

Clarisse began avoiding Silena much more often after that. Sure, they would hang out still, but it wasn’t the same once Beckendorf started tagging along most of the time. Clarisse missed how it used to be with Silena, when it was just the two of them. When Clarisse still had hope that she and Silena would get to kiss one day.

Apparently, Clarisse’s attempts to avoid Silena didn’t go unnoticed. They were walking together one day, going to Clarisse’s cabin, when Silena pulled Clarisse over. “You’ve been ignoring me lately. Why?”

Clarisse shouldn’t have been as surprised as she was. Silena was a child of Aphrodite, after all, and they were known to generally have a better grasp of other people’s emotions. Still, Clarisse stopped in her tracks, turning to look at Silena.

“So what if I have?” She asked simply, but she felt like she was on fire. She didn’t want to talk about this, because if they talked about this, it may bring other things to be discussed. Other things that Clarisse did not wish to discuss, ever.

Silena looked hurt by Clarisse’s words, and Clarisse couldn’t stop the tug of her heart at Silena’s expression. “What did I do to deserve this, Clarisse?” Silena asked, her voice barely above a whisper, but filled with so much emotion that Clarisse had to look away.

They were alone now, the path having cleared of the campers that had littered it moments before. Clarisse wasn’t sure where they had all gone, but she was glad they left. She didn’t know if she could say her next words with an audience.

“Nothing, Silena. That’s the problem. You - you did nothing. It’s- I’m,” she paused, took a breath to stop from letting out a scream, continued, “It’s just that you seem so much happier now that you’re with Beckendorf.”

“Charlie,” Silena interjected softly. Clarisse gulped, nodded, continued.

“Charlie. But I feel like I’m not a part of that. I don’t know, sometimes I wish that it was just you and me again, which is awful, I know, but I can’t help it. I miss when it was just us, Silena,” Clarisse stopped then, feeling winded as if she’d just run a marathon. That was more feeling she’d expressed to anyone in her life, and she was kind of surprised she didn’t pass out.

Silena tapped Clarisse’s shoulder, getting her to turn back to face her. “Do you want to know the truth?” She asked. Clarisse nodded. “I broke up with Charlie this morning.”

Clarisse lost what little air she had left in her lungs. Nothing made sense anymore. “Wait, but- but you- and he- what?” Clarisse’s world felt like it had been tilted.

“I knew I was going to have to talk to you about this, so I broke up with him. I still like him, but only as a friend. Truthfully, I think I’ve only ever liked him as a friend.” Silena paused, taking a deep breath. Clarisse counted the seconds after Silena spoke, needing it to keep her grounded. “Even more truthfully, I think part of it was because of you.”

Clarisse thought she might faint. Every emotion she’d bottled up about Silena was exploding, threatening to tip over. “What do you mean?” Clarisse asked slowly, not sure if she was ready to hear the answer.

Silena tapped her fingers against her thigh, and her lower lip had disappeared, meaning she was chewing on it. These were two of Silena’s nervous ticks, and it made Clarisse anxious just seeing her use them. “Can- can I kiss you?” Silena asked softly, so softly Clarisse could barely hear her.

Clarisse squeezed her eyes shut, convinced that this was just a dream, that when she woke up, Silena wouldn’t be in front of her, wouldn’t be making Clarisse’s heart nearly beat out of her chest. That was not the case, as when she opened her eyes, Silena was still standing there, a hopeful expression on her face. “Yes,” Clarisse finally answered, and Silena smiled before moving closer.

Silena was a few inches shorter than Clarisse. It wasn’t usually very noticeable, but at that moment, it was. Clarisse had to duck her head the tiniest bit to reach Silena, and she knew Silena had raised herself slightly as well.

The kiss wasn’t spectacular. It was Clarisse’s first kiss, and Silena had only ever kissed Beckendorf before. Still, it was everything Clarisse could have hoped for.

All too soon, Silena pulled away. But there was a smile painted on her lips, and a barely noticeable flush colored her cheeks, and Clarisse was all too proud of the fact that she was the cause of that.

They stood like that, staring at each other for what felt like ages. “We should head back to our cabins,” Silena said softly, finally breaking the silence. She turned to go, but not before threading her fingers with Clarisse’s. They left, hands intertwined, happy with each other once more. Clarisse didn’t think it could get any better than that.

**Author's Note:**

> My Instagram: @ not_percy_jackson (or @ jingle.bell.jackson)
> 
> My Tumblr: @ flowercrownpiper


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